Auspicious date? Not.

All chinese thinks that the number 18 is really auspicious.

i beg to differ.

today, i woke up to an empty cage.

my bunnie is missing. i don't know if Bunnie has been a victim of a cat attack or ran away or she had been kidnapped. i don't know but i ruled out cat attack since the cage did not move an inch.

so it is either she ran away...or.. someone climbed over the gate and stole my gray furball from me.

18/12/2010 Goodbye Bunnie. I'll always remember that my first Bunnie was a gray one with blue-gray eyes. =(

Life is like that.

It has been a great semester break. quality time spent with ben and my family. and also the best birthday celebration ever! :) i can't wait for christmas and new year's eve celebration!

anyway, i am sure you guys have read about this guy called Alviss Kong who posted his facebook status of wanting to commit suicide and later on really DID actually jumped off a building, all in the name of love. *sigh* regarding that matter, i felt sort of sad reading it. i mean, i don't know the victim himself but then to know that there are a lot of people who liked his status and encouraged him to do it, hello, where is your sanity? where is your humanity? where is your compassion?

he did it because he was left by his ex whom he pursued for a few months and got rejected a few times by that same person before getting accepted. what i think is that, he was really.. silly.

being in love feels great, being rejected feels like shit. that is the truth. but if a person live through the pain of breaking up, not only he/she becomes stronger, he/she becomes wiser and mature in handling a new relationship.

that was just his second relationship. i wonder why his friends or family didn't talked him out of it. and if they did why did they not stop him or make sure he was not on top of that building?

it failed. he should have thought that there are many other girls out there who could have been better or could have love him for who he is. who knows that the next one that comes along might actually be the key to his happiness for the rest of his life? what is there in life that does not offer him hope at all? 22 years old is too young to go. all the what-ifs are never discovered. all the hopes and dreams not fulfilled. all in the name of being rejected by the one person he loved.

sometimes, before we do a rash decision, think about it. what is it that ticked us off so badly that we have to resort to such decision? and when that rash decision is a bad one, think of the possibility of something better in the future, or that your life could have been worse like those of in poverty, hunger and etc. and that sometimes, that decision could badly affect others.

him jumping off the building, i bet his ex is totally guilt ridden now. and it was in fact, also a selfish act. to put her to all the pain of knowing that he jumped off because of her.

at times we've got to be optimistic. it is all about perception. we may be down right now, but we will not be so forever. it has its ups and downs. life is just like that.

whatever it is, i hope he is in a better place. and she will find her peace.

Therapy

The best therapy ever is :



RETAIL THERAPY!


A total stress reliever that you don't have to pay and not see the item. Retail therapy, you pay and you own the item that makes you happy. *loves*


Bought a pair of running shoes from Sketchers and *jeng jeng jeng* RM350 worth of books at the BIG BAD WOLF sale, which is around 25++ books. And i finally get to lay my hands on Lie To Me season 2 and True Blood season 4.

HOLIDAY, HERE I COME!

And I Pray

If people were to ask me, what religion do i profess, i'll say "I am a free thinker."

but now, it's like the eleventh hour, and i just realize, i have been reading. yes i have been but i haven't been memorizing nor remembering so now i pray..

"dear lord, god, buddha, allah, please give me super memory to remember all the cases and please help me survive tomorrow's traumatizing test paper, thank you very much."

LIFE

" Maybe life is a DREAM and we WAKE UP when we're DEAD!"

- Charlie Crews from LIFE

Silence and Perfection.

A random thought of all the quotes i used to love so much when i was 17.

"You can hear a glass being broken, a window being smashed, a plastic bottle crunched but what you can't hear is when a heart is shattered into million pieces."

and

"a broken mirror shall never meet perfection."

i come up with,

"the one thing that breaks and as silent as the snow falling is the heart. you can hear everything but that is the one thing you can't hear. and like a mirror, once broken, it may never meet perfection anymore."

Finals

Finals is coming and i am lazying.

-dies-

Catched Buried with Ck, Darren, Ivan, Sandra and Bennie on Saturday evening at E@Curve. It was TERRIBLE. The storyline is *&^%$#! But then, it is undeniable that Ryan Reynolds played the distressed character well. It is a rather dark movie i think. And obviously, the cheapest production ever from Hollywood too. Urgh. Saw the trailer for Rise of the mummy, from that, i've concluded that is NOT a B grade movie but a C grade. =/

Silly old me bought Tamagochi at version 5.5 for rm20. NO DIFFERENCE from ver 5.0. I got ripped off. again.

oh well, i guess life is about ripping people off and getting ripped off.

on a random note, i think i need a haircut. (._.") and have i told you that,

i LOVE bunnie? I <3 <3 <3 Bunnieeeee! KYAHHHHH!

New Love

Meet my new love.



BUNNIE THE BUNNY!

Bunnie the Bunny

Last night, went to Sunway Pyramid with Ben and Sandra for dinner at BBQ Plaza. Dinner was just so-so. Nothing special but nevertheless, an experience. =) would definitely love to try out other restaurants with Ben since we haven't been doing much of that lately.

Went to this shop called CUBIX. bought myself an aquarium of SEA MONKEYS. google them. they are cute. I AM HAVING SHRIMPS as pets!!

This morning went to the aquarium shop somewhere nearby to get a BIGGER tank for my sea monkeys, and then *gasp!* BUNNIES! saw four of them just right outside the aquarium shop selling for RM35 each. Fell in love with the grey one. <3 <3 <3!

Came home and bugged my parents about it and they.... SUBMITTED! MWAHAHAHAHAH!

Went out to get all the bunny's necessity before heading off to get my grey one. =)

Got the bunny, not sure of its gender but i'd love to assume it is a SHE. so ben and i named her BUNNIE the bunny. LOL.

In the evening, i was talking to Ben about playing bubbles with baby Joey(my niece) and dad went "you named your bunny bubbles?!" *snickers* no daddy, she's called BUNNIE the Bunny!

Will post up her pics soon. ;)

and it goes round and round and round.

For some odd reason, i've been getting sick this whole semester.

it started off with this f-ing bad food poisoning that happened to me two months ago after my niece's birthday dinner. that was like.. mtf-ing bad. I vomitted the whole night, non-stop trips to toilet, my stomach was painful like hell and the way to ease the pain was to sleep curled up in a ball. oh, and i got injection for it and the mutiple medicines. urgh.

after that episode, i got this bad throat infection, followed by fever.

after that, flu. bad one. my nose leaked like it's a tap.

after the flu, comes the cough. the cough that lasted almost 3 weeks. the first few nights, i couldn't sleep and i refused to see the doc. but i submitted in the end.

and now, back to square one. food poisoning, again. minus the stomach ache.

i am praying that it stops soon since finals is approaching and i haven't study much. =(

anyway, on the other hand, i managed to outdo myself this time! =) was supposed to submit my tort submission of 3000 thousand words, i doubled it for the lecturer. mwahahahahaha. and then, here comes the arab assignment and criminal law assignment, oh, not forgetting, IP PBL too. -dies-

See You Next Year

I was nine when i got transferred to a new primary school closer to home. The two previous years was traveling back and forth between KL and Kajang as i was placed in St.Mary.

Then i met these two chinese girls. They were just transferred there too and we were the only chinese girls in the class. So, basically, that left us with not much choice but to hang out with each other but problem is, both of them speaks mandarin. Now, I have never spoken a word of mandarin at home. I was fluent in cantonese, english and teochew. Communicating with them was HARD.

And i submitted. In order to get to know them better, i started learning mandarin. Especially with this one girl whom i am particularly close with for some odd reason. She's this chinese that look so much like an eurasian. Brown hair, fair skin, pretty nose and brown eyes.

We were like duck and chicken at first but somehow, we just found our rhythm. Sometimes i do mandarin and sometimes i do english. And most of the time, she wonders what am i talking about. I remember the first word that totally boggled me. The word "sa-sa" meaning crazy. I found it so funny, i kept saying it, i kept laughing at it. =D

We got close and do what kids do. We play. We talk. We laugh. We joke. We bonded. We were in the same class from standard three up till form three. we had our ups and downs. I hate arguing with her but i know in the end, we'll be okay.

We got separated in form 4 due to.. not streaming but more of the school's system of separating an equal amount of elite students into two classes. and just our luck, we got separated. And then we fell out. She found her group of friends whom she can be with and i stick back to those whom i am familiar with. I tried to keep in contact, hanging out but at that time, i have no idea whether it was me or her but we just.... stopped.

I was sad for the first week. I was sad after that. But in the end, i learnt the lesson. We have our journey, and now it's time to learn to let go. And i let go.

We walk down different paths. She, A levels, Me, STPM. then she got into Nottingham and me, UKM. We still hang out once in awhile when we could find the time. we do our catch-ups. and when we do, we really do.

I find it comforting knowing that, we may not be close but somehow, we have a special place for each other despite time and changes in ourselves.

and now, she finally manage to pursue her dream, which is to go overseas to study. although it is only for a year but a year, the experienced gained is definitely unmeasurable. she went off to UK last night, and i wasn't there to say goodbye but i have in the morning. the gifts and the letter. at least, we made our peace at that.

I am never a person good with goodbyes, in fact, i hate the airport if i am there not because of a holiday but because of sending off someone close to the heart.

I just wanna say,

Thank you for all the memories.

See you next year with that british accent. ;)

Great Weekend.... RIGHT...

When you happily follow your partner back to his home, you would actually thought that it's gonna be a great weekend because it usually is. however, once we reach back, we saw....

a chinese funeral procession, just started right on the day we came back.. so it is alright, i mean nobody expected it and i seriously don't mind. afterall, the family across surely didn't want it too. and i feel so bad for them though i don't know who's the deceased, but let's not talk about it.


ben has got a cute white dog called lucky, he look exactly like BOLT from the animation.

Lucky is a really good dog. i mean he is.


But these two days? he has been barking like nobody's business in the middle of the morning. on normal circumstances, if it was my dog, i would have screamed at him but since he is NOT mine, i can't do squat but try to sleep. but seeing myself as a light sleeper, i couldn't sleep. each time he stopped barking for a few mins, i'll fall back asleep but then he starts again and goes on for a full 10 minutes.


i give up.


so buh bye two nights of sleep.





ps: i wanna go home. :(

Filter?

Hmmm, i find myself having this sudden urge to filter my FB account and delete those whom i don't know or have not in any way communicated after adding them.

i think i should just do it right now. heh heh heh.


ps: feel like baking again. dad will start to wonder what happened to me. XD

Happy Holiday!

Uni is out for two weeks, yays! :)

On a happy note, went to Popular Book Fest with Bennie and spend about 160 bucks on books. :) bought the entire collection of Anne Rice's famous Interview With The Vampire, Vampire Lestat and Queen of The Damned, got myself Stieg Larson's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played With Fire, and two of Micheal Connelly's books. :)

Bake for the first time with Sandra without Bennie's help! :) and i think, i might just make it a hobby if not for the cleaning up part!

Can't wait to watch Resident Evil 4 on Thursday night with my loves. Will do the most "KIASU" thing by purchasing the tickets early tomorrow. heh heh.

Anyways,


HAPPY HOLIDAY~!

Leaves

Have you ever take a break out there, listening while the wind blows and the leaves dances along the rhythm of the wind, producing a mini symphony that you rarely hear?

Have you ever just look up in the clear blue sky with the many shape and size of clouds rolling by slowly without a care in the world?

Have you just sit by the beach, listening to the waves gently beating the shore, watching breaking dawn or setting dusk?

Ever wanted to just lie on a field of lavenders under a BIG BIG tree with green leaves and watch the cloud rolling by, wondering what the future would be, wondering is this the life that you have always yearned?

Watch the butterfly flutter among the flowers.

Watch the Koi's swim in the pond.

Listen to the water fountain.

Sit on a swing and read during dusk.

Catch a ladybug if you could.

Smell the flowers. Smell the fresh cut grass.


The world revolves around us at a petty pace, we work, we stress over our daily routine, we stress about life. why not, take a break and relax for just a while, taking in all the things which you might have just taken for granted while sorting your day out?

i haven't seen a ladybug in ages, wondering if they are still out there, those tiny red things with black spot on their back. :)

Home

2 days in Klang had been F.U.N. tiring but lots of fun. :) i hate it when weekends end so soon! :(

oh well, am currently addicted to three songs. they are;

i) Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood
ii) The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script

and

iii) New Soul by Yael Naim

:)

Baking.

i am finally baking! :)

so far, it smells good and tastes pretty fine too. :)


baking with dear's help, duh. :(

Freaky.

Just found out today that someone jumped off the dorm building which i used to stay.

one word to describe the whole thing: freaky.

but in the end, i sort of sympathize that person. makes me wonder what made him do it. there must be something that makes him goes "POP!" and decided to just jump off the building.

i better hit the books now. or else, mum would do the honours of kicking me outta the house.


whatever it is, life has its up and down. at times it seems bleak, gray, and unwelcoming but there are times, it offers you hope, joy and everything else that you're looking for.

Emo

I am feeling emo. period.

Not sure why. Not sure what's the reason.

Maybe, just maybe, one day i'll be able to comprehend why i am feeling this way.



it better not be effing pms.

Life

Sometimes we are so caught up with doing on our own things, running our lives day by day, be it work or errands, we just take what we have for granted.

or at times we are so focus on that ONE thing and we leave everything else lagging behind and eventually it falls out.

Most of the time, i forgot how truly blessed i am.

and i regret not being able to keep in touch with you as much as i like.

Happy Belated Birthday!

Yesterday was this gorgeous's birthday. wanted to post up this post but due to time constraint, i didn't have the time to put up this whole "hoo hah!"

So, baby sis is finally 18. Partially legal to do a bit more adult stuff. :)

nothing much to say except, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Let's not change the way we always were despite the numbers adding to our age. :)

Me Time.

Plans planned took another route so now i am home alone with nothing much to do.

I am beginning to think that i actually have zero social life. hahahaha. this is the most quiet weekend so far. Usually sis would be around to accompany me though she spends more time infront of her computer more than me but it's a comfort to know that there's another person at home with you.

so now, i have the whole house to myself.

and i don't know what to do.

i wanted to bake but all i have right now is food colouring. I guess, it's high time to stock up on baking items, then make a mess outta the kitchen one day and throw away the inedible cookies. teehee.

in the mood for ice-kacang, tong yuen and chocolate cupcake. I am pretty sure i'll be diabetic in the future with this sweet tooth gene in me.

Back in Game?

I have been away for a very long time but i guess it's time to come back. =) i left the previous blog because that it contains every essence of who i was back then but now, i think i deserve to change. After all, that is what grown-ups do. change. And i think it's time for me to grow up.

Just yesterday i was talking to my younger sis, she realize that i am turning 21 in a few months time but still she said "you make me feel like you're 19 or so." i suppose that was a compliment. Meaning i am young at heart, but hey, i am two years older than that. It is time i live up to my own age. Should i?

I doubt myself all the time.

Maybe when i stop doubting, that is when i have finally left the childish part of me behind.